


Longing and Losing

by nightfallgoddess



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Doctor Tristan, F/M, Kid Fic, M/M, Single Father Miles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-26 14:31:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2655455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightfallgoddess/pseuds/nightfallgoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miles is a 25 year old father to little Eliot. An off morning, leads them to the doctor's office.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Overture

The sound of his alarm clock blared as he groaned loudly in his pillow. His eyes still closed, Miles reached his hand to turn the buzzer off. It was 6:30 o'clock in the morning and he had to get a small someone ready for school. He rolled out of his comfortable bed and headed to his bathroom to take care of his morning ritual. Turning on the light, he winced as the brightness infiltrated his pupils. After taking care of his bladder, Miles stripped out of his flannel pyjama pants and white t-shirt and stepped into the warm shower.

After the shower he got dressed and headed towards Eliot's room, his 5 year old son. He quietly opened the door and peeked into the room to find his son sitting up, rubbing his eyes with his small hands. Smiling to himself, he walked into the room and opened the curtains on the other side of the room, letting the morning sunrise cast a warm glow in the room.

He walked back to the bed and sat down, his son still half awake. Something wasn't quite right, Eliot never woke up this late and he always asked for a hug. Miles put a hand to his son's forehead to see if it was warm, it was. It was burning, he picked up his son and sent him to the kitchen to check his temperature.

"Daddy, my head hurt a lot," Eliot mumbled in his neck.

"I know honey, we're going to make sure it's not too bad, okay?" he replied.

"Okay," he turned his head to rest on Miles's shoulder.

He sat Eliot on the marble counter table and searched for their electronic thermometer. Once he found it, he pushed aside his son's brown bangs from his forehead, to run the thermometer across it. The thermometer beeped to indicate that it processed the temperature. He turned it over to see what it displayed. His heart stopped. Eliot's temperature was 102 degrees. He quickly grabbed his phone and called their family physician to schedule an appointment. He got Eliot changed into his clothes and gave him orange juice and some fruit for breakfast. He left the kitchen to pack a bag filled with things they were going to need for the hospital visit.

He situated Eliot in his car seat and buckled him up. Miles drove quickly to the doctor's office. Once they arrived he signed them in and paid the fee. He grabbed his son's hand and ushered him to small waiting area. He checked Eliot's head again, it was still hot. He was going to ask him again if his head hurt still, but he was interrupted by a nurse.

"Eliot Hollingsworth?," Miles got up and lifted Eliot in my arms. They followed the nurse to a room across the hallway. He sat Eliot in a small love seat in the room and he sat next to him.

"Hello, my name is Emma, I'll be your nurse today. What seems to be the problem?," she grabbed an electric tablet and waited for my response.

"My head hurt," Eliot pipped up.

"He woke up late this morning which is off for him. I checked his temperature and it read a 102, so I called in to have him checked out," he informed her.

Nurse Emma tapped away on the tablet for 2 seconds, then put it down and reached for the hospital's own thermometer. She took Eliot's temperature. Her eyes widened as she looked up from the screen to Eliot's face.

"His temperature is now 103 degrees, he needs to see the doctor immediately. I'll get the Doctor right away." She walked swiftly out of the room and closed the door behind her.

They sat in the office for what seemed like hours. Miles grabbed Eliot's Captain America action figure from the bag he packed that morning and gave it to him to play with.  
He watched his son, drowsily move the arms of the action figure. From Eliot's brown hair, much like his own, and his pale skin tone, he inherited from his mother, they looked so much alike. They even had the same eye color, a mossy green that changed with what they wore. Eliot was the best thing to ever happen to him.

He met his son's mother at a club, at his first year of university.It had been a quick lay and nothing special, they did however, exchanged numbers to meet up again for another fuck. A couple of weeks later, he got a call that she was pregnant, and she didn't want to keep the baby. She wanted an abortion. Working as a showgirl she didn't want the baby to ruin her figure for dancing, she explained. At first he agreed, he was only a freshman at uni, and wouldn't be able to handle taking care of a baby, especially with his major at that time, Business. But as days passed, an idea began to change his mind. The idea of having a baby that was made from half of his chromosomes, it intrigued him. He could raise the baby, he had more than enough money to higher a nanny for the first 3 years, just until he finished University.

He called Maya, Eliot's biological mother, and begged her not to get rid of the baby. That he would raise it, and if she wanted, he would pay for her hospital visits and bills. She reluctantly agreed and for the next couple of months, they went together to those visits. He called his parents after he decided to raise the child. His parents and he were not close, never had been. He and his father, were especially not close. During his teenage years, they had some pretty intense and violent confrontations, to the extent that he moved out once he turned 18. His mother insisted on paying for his university tuition, even after he protested. He didn't want their money but, Stanford was expensive and he didn't want to dip his hand in his trust fun quite yet. So he took the money and stayed as far away from home as possible, only visiting about 3 times a year.

Maya had Eliot that April after 15 hours in labor. He had gotten a call from the hospital during his econ 101 class and rushed out immediately after the break. He crossed a couple of stop signs to get to the hospital quickly. He entered the birthing room just in time to see the doctor pull Eliot out, his cries filling up the room. _He_ was the one to choose the name Eliot. Maya didn't want to name the child because she preferred not having a connection with the baby, since she wouldn't be keeping him. He took Eliot home two days later, putting him in the wooden crib in the new nursery in his loft.

The first two months were rough for Miles, trying to balance Business school and Eliot. He managed to find himself a qualified nanny to watch Eliot while he was at school. Kristi was a 50 something year old French woman. She was great with Eliot and whenever Miles had a late night in the school library, she would watch Eliot until he came home. She gave him tips and directions for him to follow during his time at home, like the weekends. His whole world revolved around school and Eliot. He never went out or hanged out with friends. His university buddies slowly stopped asking him to go out for drink, after his numerous declines.

Miles continued to become lost in his thoughts, not realizing that the doctor had knocked on the door and not hearing any reply, had entered the room. Eliot had fallen asleep next to Miles's side and was now stirring awake from the sound of the door closing.

Miles looked up to see a handsome man who was not their usual doctor walk to the counter in the room. He looked little bit younger than Miles, maybe 25 or 26. He was tall, a couple of inches on Miles, with long legs and a small waist.

The man turned around reading the information the nurse had recorded for him. He looked up after a couple of seconds of reading, facing the two of them on the love seat. Miles's breath hitched. He was beautiful. The doctor had dark brown hair, almost black, that made his light blue eyes seem to be glow. His face was sculpted nicely, with high cheekbones and a strong jaw. He was clean shaven and his lips were plumb and a little red, as if he had been sucking on a grapefruit awhile before.

Miles realized that he was staring and he could feel himself blush from his neck to his cheeks. After finishing Business school and getting a job at Banes enterprise in New York, he hadn't exactly had time for dating, girls or boys. But, this man was breathtakingly beautiful, that he almost forgot why he was in the room. Realizing that he needed to focus on the situation at hand, he shook his head and opened his mouth to tell the doctor the problem.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Milligan, I'll be filling in for Dr. Voss today. She is on a medical conference leave for the next 3 weeks," he said with a warm smile. 

"I'm going to have to take...", looking at Eliot and then back at me in question.

"Eliot," Miles helped him.

"Eliot. Thank You," he walked over to where Eliot and Miles were sitting, and squatted down to Eliot's level.

"Hello Elliot, how are you feeling today?," he asked.

"Not good. My head hurt a lot," Eliot replied shyly from Miles's side.

"So I've heard, will you allow me to check you out to see what's causing the headaches?" he asked.

Eliot looked up at Miles, as if to ask if it was okay. Miles rubbed his hand across his son's head, saying "it's okay Eli, the doctor will take good care of you", he reassured him. Tristan stuck out his hand for Eliot to grab, to let him out of the seat. He turned to Miles and said,

"I'm going to have to perform some tests on Eliot. Don't worry, they're just standard tests just to see what's causing the headaches and fever. If you want you may come with us or you can wait in here. It should only take about 15-25 minutes tops".

Miles told him that he would come with them. He didn't want to be apart from his son, especially if he was this sick. They all left the room to a different one with a an x-ray machine. Miles began to worry, was Eliot that sick that he needed to get an x-ray done? Lord, he hoped not.

Dr. Milligan led Eliot to a table, lifting him onto it. He grabbed several medical objects that Miles had no idea what they were. He performed a vision test and hearing test, after each one, writing them down on a clipboard.

"Mr. Hollingsworth...", the Doctor started.

"Please, call me Miles. My father is Mr. Hollingsworth," he interjected.

"Of course.  _Miles_ ," he said, grabbing his clipboard," I'll be performing an MRI on Eliot to get to the root of the problem. I have a feeling of what is causing the intense pain, but I want to make sure of it before I diagnose anything. Is that alright?", he asked.

"Yes, yes of course," Miles replied.

He waited patiently as Tristan took the scan, fear rising after each minute. After 15 minutes, they were finished. Dr. Milligan led them through the hallway and out the back offices to the waiting area. He turned to Miles.

"Okay, result of the scan should get in by tomorrow afternoon. In the meanwhile, have Eliot drink warm soup and plenty of fluids. For the evening, give him a warm bath to relieve some of the head pain. I'll be contacting you tomorrow as soon as I get his results."

"Okay, Thank you so much," he replied.

"My pleasure," he said. He looked down at Eliot next to his father, holding his hand.

"Goodbye, Eliot. I hope you feel better. Try not to play too hard today, Okay?" Dr.Milligan said.

"Okay," Eliot replied.

They left the doctors and headed back home. While he had waited during the scan, he texted Winston, his assistant, that he would be calling in a sick day for the next couple of days, until Eliot was fully better. He canceled all his meetings for the week and rescheduled the ones that allowed him to. Next he called Eliot's kindergarten teacher to inform her that Eliot would not be in school.

Once they got home, he got Eliot into more lounge comfy clothing, and sat him in the living room while he prepared soup for lunch. In his head, he was going over all the possible things that could be wrong. With each thought, came more fear.

He finished the soup for Eliot and a salad for himself. Setting the table, he called Eliot to come and eat. They ate quietly as the sound of cartoons, quietly hummed in the background. They finished lunch around 11:30. Miles washed the plates, sending Eliot to go back and watch his cartoons.

When he finished, he walked to see what his son was up to, to find Eliot fast asleep on the couch. Miles scooped him up in his arms and carried him to his room, laying him down in his bed. He stripped the heavy comforter and put a small blanket on top of Eliot, so that he didn't get too hot during his nap.

He left Eliot's room and headed to his office. He had couple of emails to send and business propositions to review and record. He grabbed a coke from the mini fridge in the corner and sat on his desk and opened his laptop. Miles sat at his desk, working tirelessly on the business deals. He didn't realize how much time had gone by, because when he went to go check up on Eliot, he realized that that Eliot had been asleep for 4 hours.

He got Eliot up and they went to check the pantry for a snack. Eliot chose sliced apples and caramel with a small glass of milk. Miles decided on allowing Eliot to watch '' The Lion King" while he ate. They were only 30 minutes in, when he heard small snores from his side. Eliot had fallen asleep again. Miles was starting to get really worried. It was very odd to see Eliot sleep so much, he was getting tired so easily and frequently. He watched his son sleep, his chest rising slowly as he breathed. His own eyes were beginning to become heavy and he finally closed them into sleep.

He woke up from a buzz in his pocket. It was a call from Dr. Milligan. The results must have come in earlier than expected. He answered the phone.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hi, Mr. Hollingsworth.. sorry. Excuse me, _Miles_. I just wanted to call you to let you know that we got the results of the scan from earlier this morning. They came faster than expected. If you'd like, I could disclose to you the results or you can come in and we can talk in person, " he said.

"No, please, I would like to know now," he quickly said.

"Okay, if that's what you want," he replied. " Okay, the results. Before the MRI scan, I performed several vision and hearing tests on Eliot".

"Yes.." Miles replied, impatiently.

"Right. Um... well his vision and hearing abilities are very very poor and his coordination was not quite up to par, for a boy his age. At that point, I had a theory of what might be causing the headaches, but I wanted to make sure that that was the case, hence, the scan."

Miles could tell that the doctor was stalling, unsure on what to say. He didn't appreciate this and was getting very impatient. He sighed and said " Dr. Milligan please, can you just tell me what's wrong with my son?" I said.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry. Miles, the result that came from the scan was a tumor, located in the pineal gland of your son's brain. The tumor is pineoblastoma, meaning that it is a fast growing tumor...I am so sorry".

Miles couldn't speak nor breathe. It was if the life had been completely sucked out of him and he was floating in the air. A tumor. Eliot had a tumor. His son, his 5 year old son, had a tumor. He turned around to look at Eliot, still asleep on the coach. He couldn't lose his son, not yet. He had so many things to do with him and for him. No! This was not supposed be happen. He was just a fucking kid.

"Miles?", the voice on the other end called out.

"Is there anything we can do?", he finally asked.

" Yes...but, it is very risky, especially since your son is so young", the doctor answered.

"I'll take the risks," he said, unhesitatingly

"Why don't you sleep on this and then come to my office tomorrow morning? We can discuss all the options that we have, okay?" he offered calmly

"Yeah sure, okay. Thank you'', Miles replied. He ended the call and sank to the floor. His hands began to shake uncontrollably, his heart beating rapidly, and his eyes started to tear. He couldn't lose the best thing to ever happen to him. He just couldn't.


	2. Keep Your Head Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elevator heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> music: Ben Howard- Keep Your Head Up

It had been 2 weeks since he and Eliot had gone to the doctor. The day that he found out that his son had a brain tumor. The day his life changed. He met with Dr. Milligan that next morning to figure out their options. Since Eliot, was probably the youngest patient with this condition, they wanted to take matters with delicacy. After filling out countless amounts of paperwork and checks, Eliot was entered into the inpatient facility at the hospital. He would have a hospital tutor, and his schedule would be as close as possible to what he was used to... well except for the tests.

Miles decided to continue working, he had too. He was the Senior Director at Banes Industries. Which meant that if he didn't keep up with everything, the business could tank. So he held a meeting with his colleagues to let them know that he would be only working half the day due to Eliot's condition. There were many sympathies and cards. He tried putting on a brave face, not show emotions, that's what he usually did. But with Eliot? He just couldn't hide his feelings. His son was sick, and he couldn't do anything but wait and pray that the treatments and operations worked.

That next Monday, he got up early to head to the hospital before heading to the office. As he was about to walk through the sliding doors to the main check in, Dr. Milligan walked into the room, with a steaming coffee in his hand. He looked good. His hair was messy, as if he had just woken out of bed, or more accurately, not been to bed at all. He recognized Miles and walked up to him.

"Good morning, Miles. You're here a bit early?," he asked in question.

"Hello. Oh yeah, I thought I would see Eliot before I head off to work", Miles looked down sheepishly, running his hand through his hair.

"I completely understand. Have you had breakfast? Coffee? We could go to the cafe near my wing and grab something before you see Eliot?," his face, open and kind

Miles looked at his watch. It was only 6:15 and he didn't need to be in the office until 8:00. He looked up at the doctor. " Yeah, I could use a coffee right now, I didn't have time to brew some this morning. Thank You for the invitation, sir" he smiled.

"It's my pleasure. Oh, you don't have to call me _sir_ , Tristan would be fine," he turned around and headed towards the elevators. Miles may have watched his backside as he walked away. His dress pants really did fit him perfectly, that was for sure.

They both stood there, waiting for the elevator to open up. It was a bit awkward. This was the first time that they had interacted outside of Tristan's office or had not been talking about the tumor. He may have developed a little crush on the Doctor. He was just such a nice person and he was amazing with Eliot. His eyes, icy blue, always seemed to sparkle when he smiled. And his lips, god those lips were sin. 

Miles bit his own lips to stop the moan that was threatening to escape from his throat. He closed his eyes.

"What's up? I can practically hear you thinking from all the way over here", Tristan had turned towards him. 

Miles opened his eyes in surprise, meeting Tristan's. Those same eyes that he had been daydreaming about. He felt himself blush, his face heating up. He felt like a 10 year old discovering his first love. 

" I..uh.. well..um" Miles started, averting his eyes away from those blue orbs staring at him.

Tristan laughed quietly. His laugh was nice. " I'm just teasing you, Miles" he said.

The sound of the elevator bell caught both of their attentions as the doors slid open. A couple of nurses and visitors exited out on the floor that they were on, leaving the elevator empty for only them.

Tristan motioned for Miles to enter first with his hand, and then himself entered. They stood relatively close to each other, even thought they were the only ones in the elevator. Miles felt as if the space had gotten at least, 50 degrees warmer. His dress shirt and tie assemble started to become uncomfortable on him.

Tristan reached out to press the button for the floor they were going to. Miles looked straight ahead at the black elevator doors. The amount of tension in the elevator was unbearable. He could see from his reflection that he was breathing deeply. He looked up to find that Tristan was looking at him. His eyes boring into his own. Miles felt as if those eyes were looking into his soul.

He bit his lip and quickly averted his eyes down to Tristan's lips. Miles slowly returned back to his reflection in the elevator doors. The elevator seemed to be moving 1000 milliseconds and he needed to get off before he did something he'd regret.

Tristan was silent next to him. Miles moved his eyes from his reflection to Tristan's. He was looking at him still. He could feel the heat emitting from the man next to him, like a furnace. Next thing he knew, his body was being pushed against one of the elevator walls. He let out a gasp. Tristan's body was so close to his, that he could smell his body wash.

They watched each other carefully, waiting to see who would make the first move. Tristan's eyes looked as if they were fighting against a decision, Miles could tell one overpowered the other.

Miles's heart fluttered as his eyes moved down to Miles's lips and before he knew it, the other man had moved in for the kill.

Their hesitant lips grew more comfortable once they realized the other wouldn't pull away. He didn't even know what had come over me to give in so easily, he also knew that he didn't exactly regret it either. 

Tristan's lips were warm and smooth as they brushed against his own. Miles stiffened when Tristan's hands planted themselves on his waist, but his light, heart-warming chuckle managed to loosen me up again. Moving his right hand up to the nape of his neck he seized Miles's lips once again with his own, only this kiss was more powerful, more passionate, sending heat to his cheeks, butterflies to his stomach and taking Miles's breath away all at the same time.

Miles moaned out loud as Tristan lightly nipped at his lower lip. He parted his lips to let Tristan's tongue explore his mouth and his own tongue feeling the pure pleasure of exploring his mouth. Tristan's hand searched the small of his back and into Miles's hair. When they finally pulled free, both panting heavily, His eyes were wild and Miles knew that his matched Tristan's own. 

The sound of the elevator bell and the opening of the doors, caused them to pull apart from each other as a swarm of people came into the elevator. They pushed their way out of the elevator and accidentally brushed against each other.

Miles looked up at Tristan. He couldn't believe that he was so weak to have just made out with Eliot's doctor after only knowing him for only a month. The doctor looked embarrassed, and for the first time, his face was the one to heat up. Miles smirked.

"I don't usually make out with my patient's fathers," he jokingly said to Miles.

" And _I_ don't usually make out with my son's doctors," Miles replied with a small smile.

They both laughed at how ridiculous they sounded. The laughter quieted down and all was left was the gaze longing gaze between them. There was something about Tristan that Miles just couldn't help but gravitate to.

Suddenly there was a loud peeping coming from Tristan's pocket. He pulled out his pager and looked at it. He looked up at Miles.

"Wha... What's wrong?," Miles asked, panicky.

"There is a code 6 in your son's room," he replied

"Code 6?," Miles voice spiked up.

"A seizure. Your son is having a seizure," 

Tristan turned around and began running towards the Tumor wing. Miles was right behind him, his heart pounding in fear.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh no! Hope you're not too mad at me (:  
> I'll be updating every other Saturday. I'm planning for a 5 chapter fic, but that could change when I work on the story timeline. Feel free to comment!


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